You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
