you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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