Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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