I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
