Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
