You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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