can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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