Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
