He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
