i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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