Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
