Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.

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(770): also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know. http://tfl.nu/zxqk

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Anal.

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(615): I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people. (1-615): Anal. http://tfl.nu/eagl

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(217): View more from Illinois

Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.

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(217): Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it. http://tfl.nu/fcdd

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(631): View more from New York

guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple

(1-631): View more from New York

whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?

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(631): guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple (1-631): whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread? http://tfl.nu/vnh0

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(865): View more from Tennessee

You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.

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(865): You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce. http://tfl.nu/u88l

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(440): View more from Ohio

I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog

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(440): I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog http://tfl.nu/h88l

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(714): View more from California

i perioded on his leg

(714): View more from California

on. his. leg.

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(714): i perioded on his leg (714): on. his. leg. http://tfl.nu/sr0m

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(770): View more from Georgia

I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.

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(770): I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later. http://tfl.nu/dwy3

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(727): View more from Florida

he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?

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(727): he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal? http://tfl.nu/v8vs

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(931): View more from Tennessee

He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.

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(931): He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance. http://tfl.nu/zsaz

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(661): View more from California

I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me

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(661): I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me http://tfl.nu/2y9m

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(716): View more from New York

I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.

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(716): I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together. http://tfl.nu/l7kg

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(917): View more from New York City

I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM

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(917): I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM http://tfl.nu/bjwa

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(703): View more from Virginia

I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked

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(703): I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked http://tfl.nu/pe02

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(760): View more from California

I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.

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(760): I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable. http://tfl.nu/xt8c

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