Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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