I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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