Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
