i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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