girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Help. Why am I so naked?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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