I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
