I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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