Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
