So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
