I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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