I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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