so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
