Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
