Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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