So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
