nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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