Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
