Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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