so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
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Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
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next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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