covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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