return my video game
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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