Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
