Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?