ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.