if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.