wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.