that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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