I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
