yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
