Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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