just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
