apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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