sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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