how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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