I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize