i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
