Whod you bang
The maid of honor just puked.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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