Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
