Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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