DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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