i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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