dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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