Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
