Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
