hell yes lets make some ravioli
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
