i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
