i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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