Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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