I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
