her vagine was all disorganized.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
