i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
