If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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