Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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