my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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