I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
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My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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