I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
