its not stalking. its research.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
